Divorce in Minnesota is tough. It’s filled with many uncertainties and feelings of anxiety. Parents sometimes can get caught up in the whole process, giving little or no attention to their children, yet they are the ones that suffer the most.
Consider out-of-court alternatives for divorce
When couples decide to go to court, that only means that they have a contentious split. In other words, they can’t work out their issues by themselves, and so they have to battle it out before a judge. The only problem with this process is that there’s going to be a “winner” and a “loser.” And this may not be good for your child.
A child-centered divorce requires parents to sit down together and make decisions while putting their child’s best interest first. This may require comprising, setting aside the need to punish your spouse and taking the high road. A process like collaborative law or mediation might be the best alternative.
Focus on your relationship with your child
Of course, there is a lot going on for you, but your children may be more confused and need more reassurance than ever during this time. Check in with them regularly, answer their questions truthfully (without too much detail) and be there for them emotionally.
Think about your child’s future when making decisions
It may be tempting to want to take everything from your spouse out of spite, but that will only end up hurting your child in the long run. If you have to make tough decisions, like selling the family home, try to do what’s best for your child’s future. That may mean keeping them in the same school district or close to their grandparents.
Don’t use your child as a messenger
It would be best if you did not use your child as a pawn in this process. Do not put them in the middle of your divorce by using them to relay messages or as a way to get back at your spouse. Not only is this unfair to your child, but it will also damage your relationship with them.
Child-centered divorces aren’t always easy, but they are definitely possible. With some cooperation and communication from both parents, a healthy and happy future for your child is attainable.