Many St. Paul, Minnesota residents consider divorce a battlefield. Just like a general strategically positioning their army, some spouses and their attorneys preach a scorched earth policy and attempt to win every aspect of a divorce trial. From alimony to child custody and child support, these people are not satisfied unless they win on every issue. However, they often fail to see what the damaging effects of this approach can be on their children, their ex-spouse and their extended family. But, there are those who believe that a peaceful approach to a divorce can yield surprising benefits and bring peace of mind as well.One of the first tips in this strategy is to always fight fair during the divorce process. This means that divorcing spouses shouldn’t argue and fight in front of their children. This also means not throwing up past hurts at an ex-spouse in order to score points. Another example of fighting fair is talking about sensitive topics when the children are not present.
Another tip is to always place the well being of the children ahead of personal needs or desires. So, when important issues such as child custody come up, it very important to place the child’s needs ahead of the parent’s needs. This might mean that one parent may not have as much parenting time as the other, but if this situation helps the child, then it should probably be adopted.
Emotions can overwhelm a person during a divorce. Divorce places a lot of pressure on both spouses and this pressure can result in extreme feelings of highs and lows. It is important to realize that these feelings will be present during the entire process and spouses should understand that these feelings are a natural outgrowth of divorce.
It is also important for spouses to let go of negative feelings, such as anger, hatred and jealousy. This can be difficult, but doing so will allow spouses to forgive themselves so that they can move forward with their lives. Divorced people need to remember that both spouses probably contributed to the divorce.
Source: The Huffington Post, “How to have a peaceful divorce,” Laura Lifshitz, May 5, 2015